Things that irritate me this week:
- Question Time. It was not rigged to make Nick Griffin's life harder, it was just set in a town where nobody likes him or his message - but QT could very easily have mitigated this, and conspicuously chose not to. Now more people want to vote for him purely because they felt sorry for him being hung out to dry on the BBC: utterly idiotic, on both sides. The bizarre xenophobic rhetoric that has emerged in response makes me ashamed to be British. Free speech demands a free platform, and - accidentally or not - he didn't get one. The British, iconoclastic beasts that we are, were bound to take that as a vote of veracity for the BNP. In Germany this shit is illegal. This, schweinhaxe, Broken Comedy and Schlösser Alt make me want to emigrate to much it hurts.
- The twat from the Viva advert who thinks he's Russell Brand. The most hated man in England after the fat bloke who says 'WONGA!' when nobody has said that for over a decade.
- Sky, for nabbing the rights to England's only NFL game this year and reducing the terrestrial channels to fucking highlights.
- The BBC, for trumpeting their 'coverage' of the game when IT'S ONLY FUCKING HIGHLIGHTS. That's not coverage, that's a steaming bucket of this-is-what-you-could-have-won.
Things that do not irritate me this week:
- Bettie Page. The only woman in all of history whose sex appeal is unmitigated by big pants.
- Bourbon. Bourbon is always good. It's very good right now, in fact.
- Mike Carlson. He makes everything better through knowledge, like an American Johnny Ball.