Thursday, May 08, 2008

Crits

Paying For Breakages and Living Things have been reviewed by a work colleague, with fairness and insight - they may be read here and here, in reverse order. Many thanks Kavita, it's always nice when readers take the time to offer feedback (at least when it's more complex than "why aren't I in it?" or "it's a nice colour").

I ran a new PR over my usual four-and-a-half miler today, bringing me very close to breaking the eight-minute mile. I believe this would have been a world record sometime in the late Bronze Age. Which makes me an Olympic bronze medallist, technically.

Thinking of watching the movie version of Hitman? Consider what demographic you belong to before making this decision: are you a fan of the games? Then don't watch it, as it completely eschews the stealth-based, low-key precision of the game in favour of disgusting levels of violence, not to mention screwing with the mythos. Never played the games but like a good action movie? Then don't watch it, as the setpieces are uninspired and lack the style of a good guns-and-car-chases popcorner. Like a gory spurtfest? Then avoid, as it's been cut back to make it a 15. Interested in watching movies that nobody else would normally 'get'? Well, forget this one, as the reason people don't get it is because it actually doesn't make any sense. Planning on renting the DVD for a night in with your boyfriend? Don't, as it will split you up - there has never been such blatant objectification of women in a film, and I don't say that lightly: even actual porn has stronger female characterisation than this.

Timothy Olyphant tries hard, but is about ten years too young and just doesn't sport the bald head well: I gather Vin Diesel was involved early on (as exec producer as well as purported lead), and you get the feeling his creative input might have been able to rescue this from idiocy the way he did xXx and Escape From Butcher Bay. Shame. I gather his Tigon studio is working on the game of his new film Wheelman, so hopefully he'll pull off the Riddick trick a second time.

One day somebody will take a videogame plot and translate it to a screenplay without changing everything that made the game compelling, and we might have a decent film... The plot of Tomb Raider 2 would make a brilliant movie. I could just see James Gandolfini plunging the Dagger of Xian into his heart and turning into a dragon. I should probably sleep more.

1 comment:

Kavey said...

You're welcome for the reviews... I don't believe in whitewash back patting reviews just because I know the author so where there's strong praise, it's because I genuinely felt it was deserved, and where there is criticism, it's my honest reaction.

:)