Saturday, March 08, 2008

Bullets

I haven't blogged in a fair old while, what with being on holiday and frankly being spoilt for choice for things to rant about. I must be getting old. Let's just bullet-point, shall we?

1. Lost Odyssey. Excellent game, but not for the casual player by any means. Expect about two hours of play before it becomes interesting, and expect to spend four or five hours every evening for a month at least rebalancing your power rings. I'm not kidding. Hardcore, kids.

2. BBC2's White season. "Oh, poor me, I'm all disenfranchised because I'm white and nobody comes up with new ways to keep me out of the country or stop people discriminating against me because of my colour! I feel so neglected because even a Polish immigrant with a scant grasp of English is more willing to empty British bins and flip British burgers than I am! Society makes me feel guilty for being a fat lazy moron with no work ethic who won't come off benefits unless I'm allowed to be a rock star or a model!" Good. Fucking good. If you spend all your time blaming everyone else for your own failures, you don't deserve to call yourself British. There are no genetic Englishmen; immigrants who have 'stolen our jobs' pay taxes which pay for the 'additional strain' on the NHS; the immigration situation hasn't changed significantly since the late fifties yet the UK has conspicuously failed to collapse into barbarism; three of the 7/7 bombers were British, not immigrants; and just because you're scared of a fictional bogeyman doesn't mean that government is obliged to put together a raft of anti-bogeyman policies. Grow up and do some exercise.

3. Pasta has doubled in price. Shit. Oh well, perhaps the rocketing price of food will address Britain's ongoing obesity issues.

4. Keith Vaz. Shut up. Shut up until you've done your research. There are lots of problems with the games industry in Britain, but profligate rape simulators are not among them. If you can't even remember what consoles you're talking about, shut up about games.

5. Hillary Clinton is a monster. Well, duh. Can you really fire somebody for saying that? Seems wrong somehow.

6. Paula can't do the London Marathon. Pity. I admire anyone who can take an unscheduled dump partway through a marathon without even blinking. That's proper British grit, that is. Objectors to point 2 above should take note: this is a British work ethic.

7. Wind farm protesters. "We don't want wind farms! They're not pretty enough!" "Fine, have a nuclear power station, then." "We don't want a nuclear power station! They're not pretty enough, and are horrifyingly dangerous!" "Choose."

8. Phoo Action. Commissioned for a full series! Thank goodness, one small glimmer of common sense in an otherwise idiotic and annoying February.

(This week's post was brought to you with the kind assistance of Wild Turkey bourbon and no small amount of justified spite)

1 comment:

Kavey said...

Oh my god you rant about the same things we do, "we" being myself, my husband and our friends.

I agree so much I wonder if you have sucked the contents of my brain out.